----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Today, I grew tired of being used Today, I grew tired of being used. I'm tired of people stepping all over me- friends, family, and lovers (especially.) Like the time Adam used me for sex and a ride. He basically forced me to give him a handjob, and I left, he didn't even say goodbye. He invited me to a party. All he wanted was me to take him somewhere so he could get high. So I severed contact, and then he got pissed when he saw me again- like I did something wrong. Or Blocker, who attempted to cheat on me with my best friend, harassed her after we broke up, and tried to use me again physically later. I sent him this today: There are a lot of things that I need to say to you, that I should have said months ago. I haven't been able to vocalize them because I'm not a confrontational person, but still, they need to be said. First thing: Stop trying to ask me out, or see how interested I am in you. I AM NOT INTERESTED. You fucked up very badly, Paul, very badly. You're lonely, you need a girl, great, but that girl is not me, and never will be. How dare you even try that? You asked (and tried to get in bed with) my best friend out while we were still going out. What the hell, Paul? What are you playing at? I think I underreacted when the whole thing went down. And then after we broke up, you continued to harass Adriel, like that was a cool thing to do. And then you claimed to be joking. No one here is fooled. You're a dick. Plain and simple. Do you even realize how much that hurt? I gave more to you then I had ever given any man up to that point! I invested a lot of emotion and physicality in our relationship, and it wasn't enough, was it? You had to have more, because you weren't satisfied with me right? You used me. Then, you acted like I had done something wrong. You wouldn't talk to me, except on the computer. You didn't even say "Hello" when I went to visit Cason that one night. That was an asshole move you know? I said "Hello." You could've had the decency to acknowledge that I was there. And then after that, you try to befriend me again. That doesn't make any sense. You try to ask me out again. No! And then you start pulling this sentimental bullshit about reading my old messages? Hell no! Stop it! I WILL NOT BE USED. Do you think I am foolish enough to get back with someone who used me, and took advantage of me? Do you think I'm that easy to walk all over? You're wrong. Because I'm not. I may have been at one point, but not anymore. And whatever the hell it is that you told Paul and Daniel about me, I am very angry with you about that. You have no right to talk to anybody about what we did sexually. Especially not things about me. You said things that were meant to hurt me. Why? What did I do to you to deserve that? I did absolutely nothing to deserve that. I've been way too fucking nice to you. And you don't even have the decency to respect me as a person. So stop trying to weasel your way back into my life. I do not want you here. I am exceedingly happy with Daniel. I love him. And I don't want you trying to weed your way in and fucking it all up. You understand me? We really are done, Paul. There's nothing left here. I have no good feelings about you. None at all. I'm done. I have a man who treats me right. 2:48 a.m. - 2009-08-02 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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